Values aka, “Where the Heck am I?”

I wasn’t born with much of a sense of direction. I’d get lost if I walked out my back door instead of the front. So whenever I went somewhere new I’d have the usual suspects on speed dial. If I got turned around (which happened way more often than I’d like to admit) I’d call one of them and utter the now infamous and humbling phrase, “Where the heck am I?”

Much to their credit, they’d calm me down, get me oriented and help me reach my destination. I was always grateful for their help, but once I got my bearings I’d invariably feel badly. Being lost is anxiety-producing enough but relying on others to help with something I should have been capable of doing myself left me feeling inept and dependent. As nice as everyone was about it, it’s safe to assume that receiving frequent calls from someone in the midst of a self-imposed “directional crisis” is a drag.

So you can imagine my delight when I finally got a GPS (Global Positioning System). Suddenly, I was able to venture anywhere in the world with a new found confidence and security. Beyond getting me where I want to go, my GPS has a nifty “points of interest” feature. It suggests points of interest by category near my current location. This is valuable when it comes to practical things such as gas stations and coffee shops, but it also points me to nearby museums (who knew we were about to pass the World’s Largest Ball of Twine?), libraries and entertainment spots.

So what does all of this have to do with values? The way I see it, our values are like the GPS of our lives. I used to make my way through life without a clear and self-defined GVS (Global Values System). Much like my travels without a GPS, my life travels without a GVS consisted of being lost much of the time. Sure, I occasionally got lucky and found my way to success, but now that I have a GVS, I realize the road could have been a lot less bumpy.

After having a GPS for a while, I can’t imagine taking a trip without it. The same holds true for my personal GVS.  Decisions and priorities are easier; I simply weigh them against my values and the answers tend to be clear. My GVS also has a built-in “points of interest” feature. Without a GVS I seemed to always be searching. With my GVS “points of interest” are a natural outflow of life. Knowing and living my values makes it easy to find people, places and experiences that compliment them. I’ve noticed that people who PlayBIG for others tend to run in the same circles.

If you find yourself feeling lost, check and see if you’re using your personal GVS. Is it plugged in to your source of power? Are you letting it guide you? Was your GVS programmed by others? Have you taken the time to make sure the coordinates are correct and make sense for your life?

I’ve outlined the values of iPlayBIG on our “About” page. If you haven’t visited there, please go take a look. It’s the GVS of our work together.

Co-Creation

Despite what the management gurus and New Age pundits say, The Chinese symbol for “crisis” is not danger + opportunity. It’s closer to the correct translation to say crisis is a “crucial point.” I like that better anyway, because it means during a crisis, we as leaders have some choices to make and these choices matter. There is potential for opportunity in crisis, but there is equal potential for a big fat fall-on-your-face failure.

The speed of the world just keeps getting faster and businesses are forced to do more with less. Many companies are facing the fact that they can’t deliver value at the rate the customer demands any longer. The economy is… well, you know all that. The point is  – - it’s not business as usual. We’re in the middle of a crisis, a crucial point. What choices will we make?

In my family, we’ve learned that in crisis it’s best to connect, collaborate, solve problems and create new value together. It turns out some businesses think that’s a good idea too. They’re partnering more. (Even among competitors!) Interdisciplinary collaborations are happening. Companies are beginning to have conversations with (Gasp!) their own employees and (Oh my!) customers. They are seeing the business value of co-creating solutions with the very people who make, purchase and use their products and services.

The world is conspiring to make business better. Out of the ashes of crisis rises the phoenix in the form of co-creation, which is essentially what we’ve always done at crucial points in our lives: we engage in a thoughtful and fruitful improvisation with life. Only now it has a name and the business world is catching on.

Self-Leadership

When I started my graduate studies in Human Development I took a course in Creative Leadership Development from a professor who has since become a mentor and friend, Wendy Morris. She’s an artist and creative leadership development expert who designed the course around some of the leading work in brain based learning and neuropsychology.

Wendy took me and everyone else in the class through a six-month adventure in learning. I can honestly say I am a different person having gone through the course than I was when I started. The proof of that is not just in the grade I got or the work I produced. It’s reflected in the massive changes I’ve brought about in my own life as a result of the new learning. The biggest lesson I learned from the class is that all leadership is essentially self-leadership.

There’s a lot of talk about leadership these days. There are thought leaders, social media leaders and leaders of tribes. You may be tired of hearing so much about leadership. Why is leadership such a popular topic these days? Raise your finger to the air and you’ll feel the winds of change are blowing. The old top-down style of leadership is shifting, whether we like it or not. Baby boomers are retiring from the work force in staggering numbers and a new generation of leadership is on the bench. How will they lead?

What we’re learning about human motivation, learning, group dynamics and interconnectedness through neuroscience can’t be ignored. We can accomplish more together. “We” is replacing “I” in business. A focus on values and principles not just through lip-service but in the very foundation of the way we work together is already being demonstrated through tools such as social media, “unconferences” and in the attitudes of an increasing number of people in business, politics, education and communities.

So if it’s all about the “We” than why am I talking about “Self” leadership? Because it takes an incredible amount of courage and self-awareness to become this new kind of leader. Top-down leadership is easier. Narcissists are able to flourish in this environment. Power is hoarded and transparency is limited. The chains of command are clear and people know their place. Most are relegated to an apathetic, do-as-you’re-told role and the few that are given any “power” such as middle managers know that it’s really only pseudo-power. Even though many complain about their lot in these circumstances, they secretly prefer the mind-numbing safety of the known to the anxiety-producing magic of the unknown.

When we as leaders begin to truly open ourselves up to the power of others and begin to listen and make changes based on what we hear it creates a kind of vulnerability that we’ve been sheltered from for oh, so long. Suddenly we’re not surrounded by a bunch of yes-men. Where we used to pretend to listen to stakeholders and then turn around and do as we damn-well pleased, now we must admit that we have been wrong, or we used to be right but times have changed and we haven’t adjusted. Maybe we’ve ignored that the way we do business is hurting people or the environment. The truth is, if we shine the light we’re bound to find something lurking in the shadows. Embracing this new leadership may mean diving the business itself into a period of chaos and uncertainty. What will the shareholders think? Can we afford to take the risk? Will I lose everything?

There is inherent strength in vulnerability; perhaps more strength than some leaders can muster. It requires us to be humble, to admit we don’t know. The discipline to put aside the things we do know long enough to remain open to new ways of doing things. It requires a conscious choice to engage in conversations that are difficult but necessary. Conversations that challenge us to stretch beyond where we thought we could go. Finally and perhaps most importantly, it requires the strength of character it takes to put on the armor that accompanies real achievement – - and allow it to be removed piece by piece and used as a talking stick for collective truth.

What do you think of tomorrow’s leader? What will be required?

Equal Voice

When it comes to teams and leadership, it is really a series of “leadership moments” for everyone involved to get anything done. It may start with one person’s good idea, but a number of leaders on the team need to come forward and consider the idea and all of its implications. Some may take a look at what’s right with the idea as in Appreciative Inquiry. Others may play devil’s advocate and try to poke holes in the idea to make sure it will pass the test. Some leaders step in and add to the idea and make it better. Others lead quietly by helping navigate the interpersonal communications of the group or by keeping everything on schedule in a project management role. My point is, we’re all leaders and all of our voices matter.

Some people aren’t used to seeing themselves as leaders and are used to being treated as though their voices don’t matter. Traditional top-down authority instills a sense of apathy, passive compliance and a dependence on leadership outside of self. When we begin to realize that leadership happens at all levels of an organization and in a variety of ways during a project, we can start to feel an empowering sense of creative control over our lives.

Part of this creative control is giving power and voice to those who typically don’t have an equal seat at the table. When we fully understand and embrace our own power, we feel less of a need to keep others from being powerful. Shared power is a more effective way to accomplish our goals and hearing all voices equally gives us more information to make the best decisions.

One of the great equalizing tools I use in my convening work is a process called World Café. It allows groups to have conversations with stakeholders in a way that that gives equal voice to everyone at the table. Imagine a world where a Hmong teenager, a 70 year-old retired teacher, a 45 year-old blue-collar worker, a recently homeless mother of 3, a CEO of multinational company and a religious leader could all sit down and have a conversation about an important question where each of their opinions had equal weight and their voices could be heard in a way that didn’t allow for bias based on their various positions in life. Good ideas come from some surprising places, but we may miss them because we’re not listening to the right people. Imagine being able to talk about health care and get beyond the sound bites and emotional baggage to really be able to hear the needs, challenges and solutions everyone has to offer. Imagine gathering a group of coworkers and peers together and being able to efficiently harvest the collective brilliance in the room.

It is possible. I’ve experienced it and look forward to more conversations that matter where everyone has an equal voice. In what way has your voice been stifled? Do you need to own more of your power? Can you offer more power to those around you?

Diversity and Access to All

Today I’d like to continue my thoughts about how we gather together for conversations that matter by discussing the importance of diversity and access to all.

In order to PlayBIG in our organizations and communities our work needs to be effective and sustainable. I contend that this is only possible when we include as much diversity as possible in the conversation. By diversity, I mean a group of people with truly unique and sometimes divergent beliefs, opinions, experiences, world views cultures and goals.

We’re brave, bold souls who aren’t afraid to sit with the anxiety of not knowing.  We understand that many of the complex and emotionally-laden challenges we face need NEW thinking and the only way to get exposed to new ways of thinking is to have real, honest and sometimes difficult conversations with people who don’t think like we do. Interdisciplinary and cross-cultural conversation depends on the presence of people whose personal satisfaction is derived not by the nodding heads of a group of peers, but by hearing a wide-ranging array of stories and perspectives. From these collections of stories we can then create new, broader and richer stories that in turn have increased meaning for all of the original story tellers.

Being open to diversity at the table is only the first step. Providing and encouraging access is a piece that is sometimes ignored. Advertising a public dialogue on Twitter will only attract a certain demographic. That’s playing small. Setting the price point for a conference at $1,000 a head only allows a certain demographic to attend. How can we Play BIGGER and enable access to more? Limiting space at a gathering that features thought leaders rather than finding a way to live-stream it over the internet so that as many people as possible have a chance to learn is another way we set ourselves up to play small. Aren’t we simply preaching to the choir after a while? Wouldn’t it be challenging to our minds and egos to engage with folks who don’t know what the hell we’re talking about? Wouldn’t this force us to explain ourselves? And wouldn’t that be helpful for all of us in the long run? How can we begin to engage with and give access to a greater diversity in our professional and personal lives? Who is ready for more difficult and more meaningful conversations?

Why Local Matters: A New Perspective

The following are some of the things that matter to me in this work we’re doing together. I’ll list them first and then over the next several posts give some insight as to why I believe they are important:

• Local
• Diversity and Access to All
• Equal Voice
• Self Leadership
• Co-Creation
• Values

Local

Can we agree that one good way to make our lives different is to change ourselves? If that is true, then perhaps this could be true as well:

If we want the world to be different, our country needs to change. If we want our country to be different, our regions need to change. If we want our regions to be different, our states need to change. If we want our states to be different, our city needs to change. If we want our city to be different, our neighborhood needs to change. If we want our neighborhood to be different, our businesses need to change. If we want our businesses to be different, our leaders need to change. If we want our leaders to be different our values need to change. If I want my values to be different, I have to change.

I realize I’ve written this from an American geographical point-of-view, but the essence translates across borders. Does this make sense? I realize there are pieces missing. Can we fill them in together? Does this help to illustrate why local is crucial if we want to leverage what is working and create massive change? We can convene and have conversations that matter anywhere, but the charge is to then bring what we’ve learned home to have a radical impact on our communities. This is the implicit goal of every gathering.

Wishin’ for a Mission

So I guess I have a mantra now. Or maybe it’s more of a motto or slogan. Whatever you want to call it, I didn’t set out to get one. It just kind of happened. Or did it? I sat down with a coach a couple months ago and as we began our work together, he told me to make a list of positive words that describe myself. He said to keep writing for at least two pages. After I completed that task, he told me to have 3 people I know well look at the list and add anything I’d missed. Once that was completed, he asked me to circle the top three words that best described who I am. Here are my words:

Curious

Compassionate

Collaborative

He then gave me the task of using these words to develop a vision and mission.  Now, I’ve done the whole mission statement thing a bunch of times before so I wasn’t really expecting this to be much of a breakthrough. The difference for me this time was the mission. He asked me to think about my funeral and to imagine being dead and what I would want people to have said about me. My immediate thought was that I didn’t want to be remembered for playing small. I thought of a tiny funeral with very few people in attendance and when asked to speak of my life they would all just say polite little things about me and then go out to lunch.

No! When I die, I want some of this:

So my answer to the question of what will they say when I die is, “She played BIG.” That there is my vision, friends: Play BIG. My mission is to help as many people as possible to do the same. So, my vision, mission and mantra are pretty well integrated. Feels right.

I have the words “Play BIG” written on a whiteboard above my kitchen sink. On the days when I’m doing my best I see those words and smile to myself. The days when I’m playing small I scowl at those words as if they are taunting me, “Nana-nana boo-boo!” The truth is, they’re holding me accountable. So instead of resenting them, I realize what they mean to me and I begin again.

How about you? Do you have a personal motto, slogan or mantra that keeps you accountable to yourself? What’s your vision and mission?

BIG Dream – Twin Cities

Co-working is one of my BIG dreams for the Twin Cities area. But it’s not just about shared workspace, people! Maybe that’s why the concept has failed to attract a lot of interest so far. The ideas and plans I’ve seen for co-working in the Twin Cities are dry, soulless business plans. “We provide desks, computers, (and even a kitchen area!) for a mere $400/month.” I don’t know about you, but with a pitch like that, I’d rather stay plugged in at the local coffee shop. At its heart, co-working should really be about deep collaboration with like-minded people. I want to share space with passionate, social innovators with BIG ideas and the optimism and ethical drive to believe they can create positive change. The Twin Cities needs a gathering place for cultural creatives to break free from isolation and cliques in order to connect with people who can help us be more, do more, and serve more. See if this gets you as excited as it gets me about co-working:

So that gives a great idea of what the space would look and function like during the day. But wait, there’s more. I envision the space transforming at night into a place for lectures, debates, speakers, facilitators, dinners, cultural events and salons – all geared towards the desire to PlayBIG and make the Twin Cities and our world a better place. Therefore, this space is meaningful to more than just the tenants who rent work space there- it’s truly a gathering place available to anyone who wants to connect with others to get inspired and create radical change.

Oh, and I forgot to mention one of the most important features of this wonderful place: it will have affordable on-site daycare.

Are you interested in a space like this? How can we make it happen?  Are there grants available for this type of project? I’m thinking of hosting a co-working conversation in the near future to garner support, harvest ideas and connect to resources. Perhaps I’ll call the conversation when I begin blogging for Upsize Magazine and have access to a larger audience of Twin Cities biz owners. It’s important to have as many stakeholders as possible be part of the conversation. We would be responsible together for making it the kind of place where people want to be in community. Please, comment and let me know your thoughts on co-working.

If you are outside of the Twin Cities community, would you like to have co-working in your city? What will you do about it?